The last few months have been excessively busy to the point of insanity and exhaustion. I wrote about some of it in my personal blog last week. I have been mentally, physically, and spiritually exhausted. My lovely bride has been dealing with the effects of the mess herself. The stress has brought up a lot in our lives and shut down our brains. I think my son had to wipe some drool off my chin because I was nearly catatonic from all this junk. Some of it has been worthwhile Kingdom work (which I will never complain about) but a lot of it has just been steaming piles of garbage to sift through.
Unfortunately, Freedom Church and Jesus' Outsider have been in coast mode for over a month. I haven't had the time or energy to produce videos, write blogs, or record episodes in far too long. I will return to producing new material soon, likely as early as Sunday night. We are still going to proceed slowly for a couple more months. There are some key decisions to be made before we can truly ramp up. Yes, the lovely bride and I need to clean up a few things (also mentioned in my personal blog) but that is being dealt with using prayer, fasting, and some hardcore spiritual warfare. It will be overcome in short order.
In front of me are a series of choices that I need to make. I have already made a couple of difficult decisions. I had to learn how to say no to opportunities that would have derailed everything we've been working for these last several months. Kim and I need to figure out the next steps and make sure the Lord is in them before we make a leap.
Many years ago, the call of Elisha was laid upon my heart. (1 Kings 19:19-22) If you're unfamiliar with what happened, Elisha was plowing his parents' field when Elijah came up to him and placed his prophet's mantle on his shoulders. Elisha immediately broke up his plow and used the wood to sacrifice the oxen. He was leaving all of his old life behind to follow the call of the Lord upon his life. The Lord told me that a time would come when I would do the same thing. In the midst of the insanity, the Lord reminded me of His word to me all those years ago. I am seeking His face to determine if that time is coming soon.
In truth, even dropping to part time on my main job and gaining a couple of days, I'm still not finding all the time I need to recruit a launch team and raise funds. Something always seems to come up to eat my time or the tasks before me take more hours to do than I have time to do them. Some of that means I need more help but to find it, I need more time. It's a huge catch 22. I am grateful for the help I already have but there's just so much to do. I fear that if I don't find more time, it's going to take years to get FC off the ground. The sense of urgency I have is much greater than that.
When we set out, I decided not to take a salary from FC in the early stages. Now, I'm spending a lot of time in prayer to determine whether or not that was the Lord and not my ego. I have to weigh some options to both build Freedom Church and provide for my family.
So, here's my options:
1. Leave one of my jobs and trust God that the income from the other will be enough.
2. Replace one job with Deep Mystery Studio and work to bring in self employment income. This choice carries its own pitfalls and dangers.
3. Raise personal support along with the initial startup costs for the church either keeping one part time job (the least stressful) or eliminating both.
4. Leave both jobs and split my time between the studio and the church.
5. Continue as things are and keep working as time allows.
Each of these presents opportunities and challenges. I know what I would do in the flesh but I don't want to operate in the carnal. I need to know where Jesus wants me to be and follow His guidance. I'm a risk taker but I want my risk the rest on His shoulders. When He leads and we follow, that's the best option and the risk that brings a truly worthwhile reward.
So far, this has been a truly stretching experience. The financial options I just laid out are the tip of the iceberg of the decisions that need to be made. Regardless, I need to find a way to redeem my time and put more of it into building Freedom Church for His glory. Obedience to Him and Kingdom building has to come first. Some tweaking needs to be made to the vision to really convey what Jesus means to accomplish through the ministry He called us to so that we can fully communicate it to others who may bee feeling the same pull on their hearts to either join us or support us.
The lovely bride and I would appreciate your prayers as we seek the Lord's face in these decisions.